8.21.15 Forgiveness Continued

This evening will mark the start of the 7th day of the month of ELUL (reminder: it stands for "Ani L'dodi V'dodi li - I am my beloved and my beloved is mine).  By the end of Shabbat, we will have completed the first week in our process of reflection as we make our way to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. A path towards forgiveness is essential to any real reflection.  We must be willing to forgive ourselves and others.  In Judaism, both are a mitzvah, we are actually commanded to do both.  

I have been spending a lot of time trying to figure out why forgiveness is so challenging, so difficult.  Why is it so hard to forgive others?  Why is forgiving ourselves seemingly impossible?  Shouldn't it be easy (or at least easier than it is)?  Afterall, wouldn't releasing ourselves and others from the weightiness of the wrong doing be seen as something desirable?

Like any good "student" who has a question, I "googled" to find out the answer.  I watched some TED talks, YouTube vidoes, read a few articles, but didn't feel satisfied with the responses.  Then, a friend reminded me of a poem I studied this summer at the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem.  "Thank you" Mari Chernow.

The Place Where We Are Rightby Yehuda Amichai From the place where we are right Flowers will never grow In the spring. The place where we are right Is hard and trampled Like a yard. But doubts and loves Dig up the world Like a mole, a plow. And a whisper will be heard in the place Where the ruined House once stood. It is here that I found my answer.  The need to be right keeps us far from experiencing the relief that comes with forgiveness.  The need to be right strengthens our barriers, making sure that we remain closed to reconciliation.  The need to be right prevents us from moving through the challenge and arriving at a place of wholeness.  The need to be right blocks us from being our truest self.  The need to be right will ultimately lead to ruins and all that will be left is the memory of what once was.  Forgiveness doesn't remove responsibility.  It doesn't condone hatred or evil acts.  Forgiveness enables the one who forgives to move forward.  It allows the one who is being forgiven to continue the process of atonement. Without forgiveness we cannot achieve closeness.  Without forgiveness we cannot have hope.  Without forgiveness we have no future. Mekor Ha'Chayiim, Source of Life, as we continue our journey through the month of Elul and make our way into Shabbat, may we be mindful of the tremendous power we have to forgive.  May we reflect on this power and decide that we will forgive.  No matter the failure, we will forgive ourselves.  No matter the disagreement or harm that was caused, we will forgive others.  We will forgive in order to achieve wholeness.   Shabbat shalom u'mevorach, Laurie